Kristina Kiefer

If you resonated with the book discussed in this month’s book rounds, “Is Work Killing You?” by David Mosen, MD, you have probably asked this question more than once. And if you are reading this, you probably haven’t decided. It can be a very complicated decision. Long story short, only you can decide this. But, you are in good company. Most in the veterinary field I know have had to face this crossroads at some point or another.

I tend to see two common mistakes when people are at this crossroads.

1. They feel “stuck”, and remain in a miserable situation and energy level, and choose to do nothing.

2. They quit to flee the situation and quickly find themselves in a situation with similar problems.

Neither of these choices is awesome, and rarely solves the problem. Simplistically: The down sides to passively remaining in the situation are continued misery, dysfunction, risk of burnout, and sustaining a victim mentality. The down sides to jumping to another job as soon as the going gets tough are cost, effort, relational damages, and frequently, sustaining a victim mentality.

Dr. Mosen parses the major problems with work stresses into abuse, velocity, and volume.

In my opinion, there are two, very clear and critical factors that profoundly indicate that quitting is the right choice. 

1. If you are the subject of mental, physical, verbal or emotional abuse by anyone at your job site, and it is not swiftly and definitively addressed, run as fast as your little legs will take you. And I do mean anyone: boss, technician, receptionist, clients. If you’ve brought the situation to your higher-ups attention, and they are not protecting you and taking this seriously, you’ve just received very clear messages about the priorities and attitudes of management. Even if the moment is temporary and has passed, something will happen again. And if you don’t feel you have the support and empowerment to stand up for yourself or place boundaries around this sort of behavior, then you are in an unhealthy and risky environment. 

2. If you are required to violate your ethical or moral boundaries, you are placing your health and well-being at grave risk. You may be able to convince yourself it’s OK this time, but rest assured, it will keep happening. And before you know it, you aren’t in the gray zone anymore- you’ve muddled yourself right into the black zone of moral distress. I consider this to be very dangerous to your well-being.  This factor is utterly non-negotiable for me, but recognizing that everyone else’s morals and ethics do not have to perfectly match mine. Provided we can respect each other’s morals and ethics, we should be able to have a healthy work relationship.

Chances are others are being subjected to the same situations. By tolerating these situations for yourself, you are also sending a message of powerlessness to your co-workers. Sometimes, it takes only one person with the courage and strength to stand up for their beliefs and needs, for others to believe they can do the same.  So if you need the added incentive, leave these situations not only for yourself, but for everyone around you.

Velocity and volume are the areas where I think it can be much harder to make a clear decision about staying or going. Sometimes the expectations and demands are utterly unreasonable. If you’ve done your due diligence to communicate this, and corrective measures have not been attempted, it may be very wise to move on. If you find yourself in a supportive environment promoting growth and mentorship, you probably aren’t going to improve your situation by leaving. Often, seeking mentorship or insight outside of your work can be extremely useful. Coaching, counseling, or advice from those outside the situation can provide ideas, strategies and clarity to the challenges you are facing. Your greatest learning opportunities often lie within your greatest personal challenges. So running, just because it is hard, isn’t always the best choice. 

One thing Dr. Mosen doesn’t directly address, is the toxic work environment. This sadly can be pretty pervasive, and it can be surprisingly insidious as well. Sometimes you don’t even recognize it until you’ve become infected yourself! Toxic work environments are a muted source of emotional abuse, in my opinion. A toxic work environment is pathognomonic for ineffective management. Unless management is dramatically changing hands, or some other significant change has occurred, the work environment is unlikely to improve. Either management is failing to manage appropriately, or is ignorant of the problem, which is equally problematic.

Sometimes, an individual within the toxic environment can make a huge difference, but more often than not, it is fighting an uphill and extremely fatiguing battle. If you find yourself in this situation, I’d recommend you seek counseling, and very intentionally place your well-being as a priority. If there is a positive gain from remaining in this situation that outweighs the cost of leaving, make sure you have a support system in place to guard your well-being. 

Regardless of your choice, stay or leave, recognize it is 100% a choice. You might feel like you can’t leave (unable to relocate, lack of opportunities, financial burden), but you are only perpetuating your sense of being a victim. This leads to a sense of powerlessness and helplessness.  You can leave. You could find a job outside of the profession. You could leave and become homeless. You can stay and be unhappy. You can stay and intentionally develop skills to manage the stress. Every single one of those is a choice. Take ownership of that choice, as ownership gives you a greater sense of power and control over the situation, which is so vital to managing your emotions and well-being. 

So, what say you? What factors help you decide whether to stay or go? 

Further Reading/Resources:
Book Rounds: Work Stress
Book Rounds: Well Being