Thoughts from a veterinarian with a love affair with perfectionism
Kristina Kiefer
This month’s Book Rounds book, Better, by Atul Gawande, is inspiring and motivating to be the very best that we can be- for our clients, patients, team and ourselves.
That should be reasonable, given I get uncomfortable if things aren’t perfect, right?
Within a few weeks of starting my residency, I had a mentor that tell me “I think a big part of your training is learning when something is good enough, rather than perfect.” Another mentor informed me repeatedly “Better is the enemy of good.” So, which is it?! Should I be better? How is perfect not better? When is better good enough?
Why did two separate mentors feel the need to drill into me that I needed to be cautious around “better”, and yet my professional values, heart and soul long to be better?
I have had a long and convoluted relationship with perfectionism. I have come to view perfectionism as an antagonizer to Better– at least how I used it. Envision it is a direct competitor, which spends more of its time proving its value than providing value. Perfectionism is a much better performer as a supporting cast member, than a leading character.
When in the grip of perfectionism, things really revolve around it. In fact, it is downright immobilizing and isolating the majority of the time. Any insinuation that I am not excelling tends to revive it, inciting old patterns of behavior. I have to be very vigilant to recognize when I’m promoting perfectionism to a leading role in my life! Hearing that I can and should be better at something is a perfect (wink, wink) opportunity for this to happen.
Here’s my thoughts on the contention between the two attitudes.
Perfectionism has a sneaky way of being self-centered. We become so worried about how the results we produce reflect our value to others, that we forget results should reflect our personal values and morals. There may not always be a dissonance, but your priorities tend to be skewed if you are motivated by perfectionism rather than “Better”. So before handing the reins over to your perfectionism, ask yourself if you are doing right.
Doing right
Is the problem one that your morals and ethics are pricked by? Or are you focusing on self-imposed, unrealistic criteria? If addressing the problem is only for your own satisfaction, but will not change the outcome, this is your perfectionism speaking. If addressing the problem is going to affect complication or mortality rates, it’s worth paying attention to!
To do better requires focus. You need a problem, and you need to focus on the problem. Perfectionism tends to have a broad sense of need for improvement. It frequently fails to lead to that desired generalized improvement, because it is so unfocused. More often it leads to paralysis, controlling behaviors, and self-judgement. This is not what Better is asking of us. Better is asking us to make a positive difference. Being Better recognizes the path to improvement is a long and winding path. It honors and expects diligence!
Diligence
If you are ready to throw in the towel because the change hasn’t already happened, or you made a change and the outcome you wanted wasn’t immediate, you are more likely dealing with perfectionism. Being Better will take slow, methodical, incremental changes to elicit the change you want. Patience is the name of the game here. Perfectionism does not do patience well. Doing Better does.
Perfectionism tends to have a preconceived notion of the means to achieve the desired result. If you aren’t following the recipe, you aren’t succeeding. So, it tells us. It tends to completely bypass ingenuity, being so fixated on the “perfect” way to do something.
Ingenuity
Ingenuity involves thinking outside the box. Stretching past your boundaries, imagined or perceived. Perfectionism prefers to remain rigidly within boundaries, keeping you tied to expectations rather than curiosity and exploration. Perfectionism has a set standard it can’t even conceive of superseding, whereas ingenuity leaves room for growth and learning along the way. Being Better doesn’t keep you contained within a box- it escapes the normal and leads to supernormal.
It has taken quite a bit of work, but I do firmly believe it is possible to walk the road to Better, and not fall into the trap of perfectionism. Recognizing the difference is one of the greatest steps I think you can take to succeed.
Where do you draw the line between perfectionism and Better? Do you think there is a way to harness your perfectionism to enhance your journey to Better? Share your experiences! Help us all learn!
Further Reading/Resources:
Book Rounds: Performance
Book Rounds: Feedback
This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking
more of your excellent post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!
I like what you guys tend to be up too. This sort of clever work and reporting!
Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.
whoah this blog is wonderful i love studying your posts.
Stay up the good work! You understand, a lot of people are hunting around for
this information, you could aid them greatly.
Right now it seems like WordPress is the top blogging platform
available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what
you’re using on your blog?
The information shared is of top quality which has to get appreciated at all levels. Well done…
Wow, awesome blog format! How long have you ever been running a blog for?
you made blogging look easy. The total glance of your site is magnificent, let alone the content!
Ӏ have learn ѕօme excellent stuff here. Ceгtainly value bookmarking for revisiting.
I wonder how much attempt you set to create this kind of fantastic ijformative site.
Quality articles is the crucial to attract the viewers to pay a quick visit the site, that’s what this
website is providing.
You need to take part in a contest for one of the finest sites on the
web. I most certainly will recommend this blog!
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of
the website is also very good.
Hey! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to look it over.
I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and
will be tweeting this to my followers! Superb blog and brilliant style and design.
I got this web site from my friend who informed me on the
topic of this website and now this time I am visiting this web page and reading very informative articles or reviews here.
Hello there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.
Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe
guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My site
goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other.
If you might be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!
This design is incredible! You definitely know how to keep
a reader entertained. Between your wit and
your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well,
almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really loved what you
had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
Too cool!
Pretty element of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact loved account your weblog posts.
Anyway I’ll be subscribing for your feeds and even I
fulfillment you get entry to consistently fast.
Terrific article! That is the type of info that are supposed to
be shared around the internet. Shame on the seek engines for now not positioning this post
higher! Come on over and discuss with my website .
Thanks =)
What i do not understood is in truth how you are not
really much more smartly-appreciated than you might be right now.
You’re so intelligent. You understand therefore considerably on the subject of this topic, produced
me in my opinion believe it from a lot of various angles.
Its like women and men aren’t fascinated until it’s one thing to do with
Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. Always
take care of it up!
I feel this is one of the most significant information for me.
And i’m satisfied studying your article. But wanna statement on few normal things,
The website style is perfect, the articles is in point of fact great
: D. Good job, cheers
fantastic submit, very informative. I wonder why the opposite specialists of this sector don’t understand this.
You should proceed your writing. I am sure, you have a huge readers’ base already!
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here.
The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.
nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you
wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come
further formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside
case you shield this increase.