Thoughts from a veterinarian with a love affair with perfectionism
Kristina Kiefer
This month’s Book Rounds book, Better, by Atul Gawande, is inspiring and motivating to be the very best that we can be- for our clients, patients, team and ourselves.
That should be reasonable, given I get uncomfortable if things aren’t perfect, right?
Within a few weeks of starting my residency, I had a mentor that tell me “I think a big part of your training is learning when something is good enough, rather than perfect.” Another mentor informed me repeatedly “Better is the enemy of good.” So, which is it?! Should I be better? How is perfect not better? When is better good enough?
Why did two separate mentors feel the need to drill into me that I needed to be cautious around “better”, and yet my professional values, heart and soul long to be better?
I have had a long and convoluted relationship with perfectionism. I have come to view perfectionism as an antagonizer to Better– at least how I used it. Envision it is a direct competitor, which spends more of its time proving its value than providing value. Perfectionism is a much better performer as a supporting cast member, than a leading character.
When in the grip of perfectionism, things really revolve around it. In fact, it is downright immobilizing and isolating the majority of the time. Any insinuation that I am not excelling tends to revive it, inciting old patterns of behavior. I have to be very vigilant to recognize when I’m promoting perfectionism to a leading role in my life! Hearing that I can and should be better at something is a perfect (wink, wink) opportunity for this to happen.
Here’s my thoughts on the contention between the two attitudes.
Perfectionism has a sneaky way of being self-centered. We become so worried about how the results we produce reflect our value to others, that we forget results should reflect our personal values and morals. There may not always be a dissonance, but your priorities tend to be skewed if you are motivated by perfectionism rather than “Better”. So before handing the reins over to your perfectionism, ask yourself if you are doing right.
Doing right
Is the problem one that your morals and ethics are pricked by? Or are you focusing on self-imposed, unrealistic criteria? If addressing the problem is only for your own satisfaction, but will not change the outcome, this is your perfectionism speaking. If addressing the problem is going to affect complication or mortality rates, it’s worth paying attention to!
To do better requires focus. You need a problem, and you need to focus on the problem. Perfectionism tends to have a broad sense of need for improvement. It frequently fails to lead to that desired generalized improvement, because it is so unfocused. More often it leads to paralysis, controlling behaviors, and self-judgement. This is not what Better is asking of us. Better is asking us to make a positive difference. Being Better recognizes the path to improvement is a long and winding path. It honors and expects diligence!
Diligence
If you are ready to throw in the towel because the change hasn’t already happened, or you made a change and the outcome you wanted wasn’t immediate, you are more likely dealing with perfectionism. Being Better will take slow, methodical, incremental changes to elicit the change you want. Patience is the name of the game here. Perfectionism does not do patience well. Doing Better does.
Perfectionism tends to have a preconceived notion of the means to achieve the desired result. If you aren’t following the recipe, you aren’t succeeding. So, it tells us. It tends to completely bypass ingenuity, being so fixated on the “perfect” way to do something.
Ingenuity
Ingenuity involves thinking outside the box. Stretching past your boundaries, imagined or perceived. Perfectionism prefers to remain rigidly within boundaries, keeping you tied to expectations rather than curiosity and exploration. Perfectionism has a set standard it can’t even conceive of superseding, whereas ingenuity leaves room for growth and learning along the way. Being Better doesn’t keep you contained within a box- it escapes the normal and leads to supernormal.
It has taken quite a bit of work, but I do firmly believe it is possible to walk the road to Better, and not fall into the trap of perfectionism. Recognizing the difference is one of the greatest steps I think you can take to succeed.
Where do you draw the line between perfectionism and Better? Do you think there is a way to harness your perfectionism to enhance your journey to Better? Share your experiences! Help us all learn!
Further Reading/Resources:
Book Rounds: Performance
Book Rounds: Feedback
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