Book Rounds: Mental Strength


Book Rounds, Mindset, Personal Growth / Wednesday, April 1st, 2020

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23215490-13-things-mentally-strong-people-don-t-do

Amy Morin

Who should read: All humans can benefit! Those in vet med need all the mental strength they could get! 

Favorite quote: “People pleasing is about controlling other people’s feelings.”  

This was a tough love kind of book. Mental strength is something I think we can all agree is a valuable thing, but why? What is mental strength? True to the book title, Ms. Morin tells us what it is not. Some of the bigger myths she dispels: Mental strength does not equal mental health. It is not another positive thinking strategy. It doesn’t require you to be entirely self-reliant. It does not involve ignoring your emotions. It isn’t about acting tough. It is something that can be developed and improved. Ms. Morin proposes that there are three factors that must be the focus of developing mental strength: Thoughts (replacing irrational thoughts with realistic thoughts), Behaviors (behaving positively regardless of circumstances), Emotions (mastering your emotions rather than allowing them to dictate your behavior).

She builds a case for working on mental strength by discussing the benefits, which include improved: resilience to stress (here’s looking at you veterinary staff member!), life satisfaction (looking at you harder), and performance (if the last two didn’t get you, how ‘bout this?!). Within the chapter of each trait that mental strong people don’t do, she provides some example behaviors to help determine if you are afflicted with this trait, and some helpful tips and strategies for managing this trait if you find yourself exhibiting it. 

The things NOT to do: 

1. Self Pity: Replace with: Gratitude

2. Give Away Their Power: Replace with: Self-empowerment

3. Avoid Change: Replace with: Planning to meet change with success

4. Focus On Things Beyond Their Control: Replace with: Focus on what you can control

5. People-Please Everyone: Replace with: Intentionally choosing who you wish to accommodate

6. Fear Calculated Risks: Replace with: Balancing emotion and logic to selectively choose calculated risks. 

7. Dwell In The Past: Replace with: Make peace and move beyond the past

8. Repeat Mistakes Multiple Times: Replace with: Intentionally study and learn from mistakes

9. Resent Other’s Success: Replace with: Cooperate rather than compete.

10. Give Up At First Failure: Replace with: View failure as part of the journey.

11. Fear Alone Time: Replace with: Embrace alone time

12. Feel They Are Owed By the World: Replace with: Practice humility

13. Expect Immediate Results: Replace with: Develop comfort with delayed gratification. (See also 6 and 10)


This was a very useful and actionable book, with many helpful strategies. My suggestion: Read the section that speaks the most to you, and take some time to percolate and implement the suggestions. You could easily be kept busy for the next year! 

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