The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women
Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It
Valerie Young, Ed.D
If you are a high-achieving individual that questions the justification and validity of their achievements, feels like a fraud, and even allow these beliefs to limit your potential, you probably have a case of imposter syndrome. Bonus points if you are a woman. Sound like a profession you know? Most veterinarians?
During my orientation to vet school, a mentor announced to the class: “Some of you will struggle because you have been the best and brightest star your whole life. But now you are surrounded by 80 other best and brightest stars, and the competition will challenge and stress you. The rest of you will spend your time at vet school terrified that the admissions committee will discover you were accidently let into this class. That’s called imposter syndrome.” And he was right. I’d suspect most of us fell into the imposter syndrome group. This fear of fraudulence is more likely to cause a sense of isolation and fear that prevents connecting and sharing our mistakes, triumphs and struggles. And this is one step closer to an unsatisfactory/miserable/short-lived career experience.
Imposter syndrome is NOT a synonym for low-self esteem. The key distinction is that feeling of fraudulence. This impacts men, too, particularly in academic situations. The upsides: It’s probably a key factor in your high achievements. As mentioned in the book, “it takes an exceptional mind to think up so many creative excuses for success.”
The downsides: You may hesitate or avoid opportunities because you don’t feel ready or worthy. You may not negotiate your full value in contracts. You never feel as though you’ve achieved “enough”. You may be in a perpetual state of stress, overmedicating on your own cortisol!
Every individual defines competence differently. The imposter, however, skews competency to an extreme when self-assessing. We set higher, impossible standards for ourselves, compared to others. This is a means of self-defeat and fuels the stress and perception that we are fraudulent. Dr. Young discusses five of the most common competency types that imposter syndromees tend to operate under, and gives reframe suggestions to allow us to achieve a reasonable belief of competency.
1. Perfectionists: (raises hand here!) The “how” something is done is most critical to the imposter syndromee here, rather than the final outcome, and we are described as refusing to allow ourselves to move ahead. When we do see something to completion, we tend to be stuck in a perpetual state of believing we could always have done better. Reframe: Done is better than perfect. A product cannot receive feedback and undergo improvement until some functional form exists.
2. The Natural Genius: This type believes “true” competency is an inherent ability or intelligence. This individual tends to be oblivious to the fact that an in-between state (growth) exists between incompetent and competent. Reframe: Natural talent does not guarantee success, and effort trumps ability. Cultivate a growth mindset.
3. The Expert: (Raises hand sometimes) The amount of knowledge and skill possessed are the critical factors for this type’s view of competency. This tends to keep this individual from sharing their knowledge, because they never have enough, and fear being found wrong! Reframe: A healthy respect for limitations of ability and knowledge is a form of competency in itself. Knowledge has no endpoint, and you don’t/can’t know everything!
4. The Rugged Individualist: This individual believes real competency requires solo, and unaided accomplishments. (Why do we struggle so hard in this profession to ask for help?!) Reframe: Part of competency requires identifying the necessary resources to accomplish the goal, and that often involves other individuals. Knowing when and how to ask for what you need is a component of competency.
5. The Superperson/student: This individual defines competency not only on how something gets done, but how many roles/responsibilities they can juggle well. Dr. Young (and me too!) proposes this is predominately a cultural creation. She observes this person is like the Perfectionist, Natural Genius, andRugged Individual on steroids. Sounds like the entire profession of veterinary medicine! (Guiltily raises hand here, too.) Reframe: Learn and love the word “no”. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should- no one can be perfect at one thing, let alone ALL the things! Besides, what example are you setting for your son/daughter/student/staff?
Remember, a major component of imposter syndrome is that feeling or fear of fraudulence. Dr. Young describes seven different styles of coping that imposter syndromees tend to employ, to avoid facing their fear of exposure of fraudulence. These strategies don’t eliminate feelings of imposter syndrome, only protect you from the shame of discovery! Dr. Young recommends looking at your strategy, and asking yourself what you are getting out of it: the good, the bad and the ugly, and developing counter-strategies, so to speak. (For me: procrastination avoids overwork; gives me an excuse if it doesn’t meet my standards; eliminates progress on so many other things I’d rather be working on! So, I set a deadline, and declare it to accountability partners).
1. Overpreparing/Hard Work: This actually can contribute to your success, but consumes time you could be investing elsewhere, and can be utterly exhausting (personal experience here)!
2. Holding back: “Intellectual inauthenticity”. This is avoiding your full potential, so if others judge you harshly, you’ve got something to blame. The problem here is indirect self-sabotage and self-limitation.
3. Maintaining a Low/Ever Changing Profile: This person keeps a low-profile, or is job-hopping to avoid “discovery”. Avoiding feedback or valid assessment limits your growth opportunity, so stunted development is a likely state of affairs.
4. Charm: The use of humor or social skills to redirect attention from the area you feel fraudulent. This can lead to a personal sense of inauthenticity and blockade true connection and deep relationships.
5. Procrastination: (my specialty) By waiting until you can’t give it your best, you unconsciously/secretly give yourself an out in case the product isn’t as good as you or others feel it should be. This can be a vicious cycle, because success fuels belief that you’ve fooled everyone again! The outcome could be so much greater without procrastination, or other projects might actually get finished!
6. Never finishing: The extreme procrastinator that spends so much time over-preparing, that the train never leaves the station. There is no tangible produce to criticize, so voila– safe! Safe, if self-employed, but critically under-utilized!
7. Self-sabotage: Substance abuse, “other enhancing”, or destroying your prospects for success removes the option from others to judge your work (AKA your value), and assigns a “poor” score to them. In other words, you take action to decide for them, placing their judgement where you think it is deserved. So, so, so damaging!
Ultimately, Dr. Young argues that developing skills in owning your accomplishments is a critical component of managing imposter syndrome. Everyone in the whole wide world has a component of luck, personality, timing and connections in most of their successes. The important component is the individual managing those contributions, to generate a success! It’s time to stop deflecting or minimizing your success and accomplishments, and find the courage to own them!
Dr. Young recommends the “fake it ’til you make it” strategy to overcome your feelings of inferiority or imposterism. The “fake it ’til you make it” tactic relies on the general tendency of people to become what they act like. So, if you act confident, competent, and rightfully present, you will not only be so, you will begin to believe so. Amy Cuddy’s Ted talk provides an excellent review of the benefits and strategies of this technique. Dr. Young spends quite a bit of time discussing the balance and distinction between inauthentically presenting yourself, versus accurately but confidently presenting yourself. If this is a hang-up point for you, I’d definitely recommend reading the book, as there are multiple chapters that tease out the intricacies of this challenge.
People that suffer from imposter syndrome also tend to internalize failure, and have an intense fear of mistakes and failures. Dr. Young suggests a mindset shift, viewing these situations as opportunity for growth, and a component of learning. Start seeking feedback proactively, rather than being blindsided by criticism you weren’t expecting or prepared for.
Another really valuable component of the book evaluates the over-representation of females within imposter syndrome, and cultural, societal and gender tendencies that contribute to the skewed representation. Given our profession has been skewed predominantly towards females, I haven’t touched on much of it, but if you find yourself in a position where you are in the minority, or you are contending with very masculine energy or management styles, it is absolutely worth reading the book to better understand the nuances of the contributions gender can play into the dynamics.
I am a huge advocate of understanding and managing your imposter syndrome. An incredibly dangerous challenge of our profession is the feeling of not being valued and appreciated. If you suffer from imposter syndrome, you are going to struggle even more with this, since you will find it challenging to find value in yourself, and are probably going to be even less likely to actively find and promote that affirmation of your value. Come, let us be the big, beautiful bright stars we are, and let’s celebrate each other! Let’s storm the world!
How are you going to tackle your imposter syndrome likes this year?!
Further Reading/Resources:
Imposter. Identified.
Book Rounds: Feedback
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