Thanks for the Feedback
THE SCIENCE AND ART OF RECEIVING FEEDBACK WELL*
*even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and frankly, you’re not in the mood
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18114120-thanks-for-the-feedback?from_search=true
The long and short of it: This is definitely worth your time to read. If you deal with humans at all, this will be beneficial for you.
It primarily focuses on the receiver, but there is a lot of direct or extrapolated info that can be very useful for the giver as well.
Key points:
Feedback can be classified into three types:
- Appreciation
- Coaching
- Evaluation
-If you are seeking feedback, be explicit about which type you require.
Understand what type is being offered you.
- You can and should ask questions to clarify.
- Sometimes, a mixture of types is being given. Attempt to distinguish and address separately.
Recognize your feedback triggers and blind spots, and communicate when they are obstructing your receipt of feedback.
- Truth triggers: You don’t believe the validity of the information. Your wisest course of action is to identify if there is information you are missing that lead to this difference of opinion.
- Relationship triggers: Your relationship with the giver of feedback is impacting your interpretation of the information. Do not shift or absorb all of the blame. Take the time to identify WHAT the problem is, and how you may be contributing to it.
- Identity Triggers: We range in sensitivity to feedback; sensitive or insensitive. Your position on this scale will contribute to your reaction and your reception to feedback. Your healthiest management of this is to develop a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset. In brief, do you believe you are fixed and unchangeable, or do you believe yourself capable of change, learning and growing? Bring a growth mindset to the interpretation of feedback.
Take ownership of your responsibilities as a feedback recipient.
- Place boundaries. When the feedback is not constructive or welcome, it is your responsibility to communicate when you’ve had enough, and if the giver can present it in a way that is constructive for you.
- Manage the conversation: Listen (ask clarifying questions, paraphrase and acknowledge). Assert your own feedback or viewpoint of the situation (not in an aggressive, but a helpful way). Act as your own referee to make the feedback as useful as possible. Problem solve- if the giver has taken the time to give feedback, they are likely hoping for a change. If this is something you agree to do, be very clear how this is going to happen and what outcomes you are both looking for!
It feels like a crime to have compacted the book this much! The authors discuss several real scenarios and examples to manage their points, as well as greatly expand on the concepts and techniques.
It’s worth repeating: this book is worth your time! It will be helpful for management, work interpersonal skills, maximizing the usefulness of annual reviews, and I’d go so far as to say: helpful for all your relationships!
It’s not a super fast read (SO much valuable content) but they are very good at summarizing key points and concepts in charts throughout, so it’s an easy reference to refresh yourself ever so often.
We’d love to hear if you find this makes a difference in how you feel about feedback!
Bonus: Does it change how you handle client feedback?!
Drop us a note or open a discussion!
Further Reading/Resources:
Book Rounds: Performance
For Better Or Worse
Book Rounds: Imposter Syndrome
Imposter. Identified.
How to Love Criticism (Adam Grant’s Work Life Podcast)
Why users still use to read news papers when in this technological world all is existing on net?
Hey there, You’ve done an incredible job. I’ll definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends.
I am sure they’ll be benefited from this website.
I’m gone to inform my little brother, that
he should also visit this weblog on regular basis to
take updated from latest reports.
It’s the best time to make some plans for the long run and it is time to be happy.
I’ve read this publish and if I may I wish to suggest
you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps
you could write subsequent articles regarding this article.
I wish to learn even more things about it!
There are some attention-grabbing points in time on this article but I don’t know if I see all
of them center to heart. There’s some validity but I’ll
take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Goodd article
, thanks and we would like extra! Added to FeedBurener as well
Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all people you actually recognise what you are speaking
approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my web site =).
We will have a link alternate contract among us
Fine way of describing, and nice paragraph to get information regarding
my presentation subject matter, which i am going to
deliver in institution of higher education.
I enjoyed this. Thank you.
I enjoyed this. Thank you.
I enjoyed this. Thank you.
What’s up, constantly i used to check weblog posts here early in the morning, as
i enjoy to find out more and more.
These are truly great ideas in regarding blogging. You have touched some pleasant things here.
Any way keep up wrinting.
Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It in reality used to be a entertainment account it.
Glance complex to far brought agreeable from you!
However, how can we keep in touch?
of course like your web site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find
it very troublesome to tell the reality then again I’ll
definitely come back again.
Its like you learn my mind! You appear to grasp
so much approximately this, like you wrote the guide in it
or something. I believe that you simply can do with some % to power the message home a little bit, but other than that, that
is excellent blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be
back.
You’re so awesome! I do not believe I’ve read something
like this before. So nice to find somebody with a few unique thoughts on this issue.
Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the internet,
someone with a bit of originality!
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article!
It is the little changes that make the largest changes.
Many thanks for sharing!
Você mostra saber tanto sobre isto, poderia até redigir um livro sobre
isso . Website fantástico . Vou definitivamente voltar aqui.
Não é a primeira vez que visito este site, gosto muito dos seus textos, são agradáveis de se ler.
Tenho visto todos os dias. E é realmente muito bom!
Parabéns!
Fantastic items from you, man. I’ve bear in mind your stuff
prior to and you’re just extremely magnificent. I really like what you have
acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you assert it.
You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep
it wise. I can’t wait to learn much more from you.
That is actually a great website.